school board when they talking about whether to cancel school or not
WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING
Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):
OF THE BRILLIANT:
STUFF IT HAS IN IT:
Buying this if/when I or someone I know gets pregnant.
so you know how everyone is always like lol illuminati 666 hail satan the south will rise again etc.
well today i was like hey what exactly was the illuminati anyways? and i
Next time on: I didn’t know I was a member of the Illuminati.
Plot twist: Tumblr is literally the Illuminati.
am i in a cult
This needs to stop I am about to self combust
you’ve got a lil’ somethin’ right there
it literally stresses me out how much good music there is that i still haven’t listened to
im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to
spiderman dances to the beat
no matter what song
ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour
Well, sort of.
"How are your grades?"
"What are you majoring in?"
"Have you got a girlfriend?"
"What do you want to do when you graduate?"
I stared at this for a few seconds but once I got it, I chuckled.
Don’t take puns for granite.
These jokes just keep getting boulder.
i don’t know, they’re kind of a lode of schist.
Now, now, there’s no need to get all butte hurt, lets just take a steppe back
Yeah, everyone, be gneiss.
I’m cracking up at this.
Thank you for that earth-shaking contribution.
Don’t mine me, I’m just marbling at the humor.
If you don’t laugh at this, you’ve got a stone cold heart.